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Tag Archives: self improvement

Categories Ignition to Recognition

Hate pollution

Author Steve Kigwa Posted on 0 Comments

The sad reality of our society today is that there are more people with sick minds than there are with sick bodies. Many sick minds are sick because they are mentally undernourished. They are deprived of wholesome thought-nourishment. They lack mental exercise. They do not have enough thought stimulation to keep them actively healthy.

Most sick minds however are sick because they take in a daily dose of mental poison in form of HATE. When you allow HATE THOUGHTS to get into your mind, you mentally poison your mind. HATE is one of the most deadly MIND POISON. Hate will not only pollute your emotional environment but also sicken your very soul. The unfortunate thing is that you may not be able to prognosticate someone who has been poisoned by hate just by looking at their exterior. You will know that they are sick when you begin to follow the things they post and write on other people’s walls for ego-satisfaction. Why would somebody write insults against someone they don’t even know?

Hate is a mental poison which instantly distorts the mind. How do we get rid of hate which pollutes our emotional environment? There are some psychological methods which you can use to prevent becoming a mental, or emotional, or physical victim of hate-your own hate or that directed against you. One simple way to do that is by directing, channeling and guiding the psychological need to feel important which is the most powerful motivation of all. If you could fulfill in others their compelling need to feel important by treating them as being important, you will have helped them to discover how to multiply their importance by becoming a positive person.

Categories Ignition to Recognition

Winning Cooperation

Author Steve Kigwa Posted on 0 Comments

Why do so many couples and people argue and quarrel? Often unintentionally, most people argue to flex their egos and to demonstrate their own importance or superiority. What does their blatant disagreement win them? Very little if any! It gets them the reputation of being disagreeable. Unfortunately, this has never been proven as a dependable way of winning friends and influencing people.

One of the most critical factors in personal influence psychology is to find as many ways as you can to be agreeable. And the best way to be agreeable is to agree. I am not in any way suggesting that you have to get through life without ever being disagreeable, but rather to point out that it is not required of you to express verbal judgment on all statements made by others. As a matter of fact most quarrels and disagreement, in many instances, center on very petty and trivial matters. You are not under any obligation to mete out your judgment or opinion on everything.

You can engage in a discussion without any definite disagreement by simply being a silent but interested participant. It is better to be quiet than to be vocally disagreeable. Of course, there are those rare instances when you must take an adverse position and state your disagreement but, always make a habit of delaying as courtesy would permit. If you must really express an adverse opinion, then you must do so not as an argument or disagreement but as a thoughtful statement.

There are a couple of ways through which you can accomplish this one of which is what we call ‘The Other Persons Method’. Here is how it works-do not make an open statement that you disagree. Instead, express your disagreement by suggesting the following: “Some people might disagree by saying …. (Put your disagreement into the words of ‘some people’). When you disagree in this manner, your disagreement is never expressed out-rightly, but it is attributed to what ‘perhaps, some people would say’. Remember, when you disagree with another person, you deflate his or her precious ego.

Everyone has a compelling subconscious need to be right-because to be wrong hurts their precious ego. To be correct provides a pleasant glow of self-satisfaction and it strengthens the feeling of self-importance. By disagreeing, you challenge and even undermine another’s feeling of being right, of being correct, of self-satisfaction, of self-confidence, of self-importance and you trigger a subconscious resentment.

Categories Ignition to Recognition

Do not be an apology of a man or woman

Author Steve Kigwa Posted on 0 Comments

Just because you are good looking doesn’t in any way guarantee that you are a good person. Good looks and good grooming have nothing at all to do with the quality of being. You can do a facial scrub, apply make-up, do a nice haircut, dress well and wear a designer’s cologne but still be an apology of a man or a woman on the inside.

You are a good person to the degree of the soundness of your emotional climate. Your emotional climate is determined by your thoughts construct. Thoughts are things and thoughts have consequences. Your emotional climate directs how you explain and interpret things out to yourself. That is really what makes you either a good person or bad person. A rotten thought pattern will obviously distort your perception of reality, how you view other people, how you behave towards them and your reactions or responses to situations.

If you are thinking ill towards someone, it is no way possible to feel good towards that person. Your behaviour and reactions towards them will tend to be hostile, confrontational, adversarial and fight-full. You can never be at peace with anyone else if you are not at peace with yourself.

The good news is that you can change that by altering your dominant thought patterns and mental attitudes. How? By deconstructing your mental model: Refuse, eradicate and reject any thought that demeans, devalues, demonizes, and degrades another person. Instead think highly of others; think well towards other people. Capitalize on thoughts of nobility, purity, harmony and good report.

For more insight on how you can turn your life around, get a hold of Stephen Kigwa’s book titled ‘The Trick of Life’. You can get an e-copy from the e-bookshop on www.mskigwa.com